Dad

This poem rings so vibrantly in my mind as I think about my dad. I can still hear his voice in the words. When my sisters and I were little kids, my dad would recite poetry to us every bedtime. I remember being in elementary school and being able to recite that poem along with my dad. Today, as a 22 year old, this poem truly speaks to me about love. I feel honored to say my daddy was the only man I have (thus far) given my heart to. And I deeply feel the effects and seriousness of giving your heart to another.

 Many of you know my dad as Dr. Klunder, his preferred name after his relentless dedication to education and learning. I am sure that many of your memories of Professor Klunder include insightful and sometimes humble interjections. My dad was a ridiculously smart man, always learning, reading, and growing his mind. He was passionate about so many things. Our home is stuffed with books after books, layering two rows deep on the shelves. When we were in elementary school, my dad bought us each a personal dictionary to keep by our desk or bed for reference. He would review new history books, help write tests for other states, and served fervently at Wichita State. Every time a scholastic book order was passed out at school, we ordered a new slew of books to stock our bookshelves. I used to joke with my dad about his lecture notes. He spent so much time editing and reviewing his notes before each lecture, and I would say “Dad, can’t you just use the same notes from last semester? History hasn’t changed that much, right?” Although I was teasing him, his commitment to higher education and being prepared to teach his students to the best of his ability shone brightly in all of his work. So much of my passion for learning and teaching comes from my father. Even with his title of Associate Professor, previous Faculty Senate President, and many other accolades over the years, his role as Father to three daughters was his best and most prized title of them all.

My Dad was an incredible man, servant leader, and loving daddy to his three girls. I think the Lord knew just how good he would be to daughters, so he gave him and my mom only girls. To this day, I laugh about how much he put up with having only females in the house. Sorry for all of you daughter-less men in the room, but there was once a time in middle school when we were grocery shopping at the Tallgrass Dillons and he asked me in the feminine products isle what I needed. I remember being so embarrassed and getting mad at him for asking me. I think I ran down the next isle with embarrassment, but he humbly helped his daughter with no more questions. His hugs were warm, tight, and one of my favorite things. All three of us girls called him multiple times a day to chat. Any time I was driving, I would call home just to catch up with my dad and tell him about my day. He got way too many “Hey dad, it’s me Catherine…” messages. When Erica and I studied in England for a semester, not a night went by we didn’t Facetime our parents. We would email back and forth all the time, and he always ended the message with Love.

Besides loving so incredibly well, my dad taught me how to be independent, responsible, and hard working. When I was in elementary school, he started a bank account for me to help teach me about finances. My dad was always thinking ahead to how he could better his girls and teach us about life. When we shopped Dillons, he would teach us how to compare ounces to price, because a lot of times, the “value size” isn’t the best value. His subscription to Consumer Reports has consistently been a great resource when we think about purchasing important items like cars or laptops. He was never rash in making important decisions, and his opinion on pretty much anything was highly regarded.

I am so like my dad in so many ways. When I think about who my dad was as a person, I am grateful to my core that so much of who I am came from who my dad was. Many of his colleagues probably didn’t see his tender and affectionate side as much, but my dad loved all of us so well, as well as others. He would go out of his way to see his favorite banker instead of going to the bank close to our house. He befriended a sweet 85 year old man, Paul, at Dillons. He would do anything to help others who needed it, and truly wanted those he interacted with to feel valued.  

The thing I admired most about my dad was the way he served our family. Sometimes I forgot he had a full time profession of teaching undergraduate and graduate level courses because he was SO present in my childhood and did so much for our family. Of course we didn’t know then that he would leave this earth so soon in my life, but all the rides to and from school, trips to the grocery store, and time spent helping fold laundry are treasured in my heart. I am forever grateful that he pushed me to learn and grow as much as I could, teaching me how to use power tools when fixing our fence or learning the importance of financial responsibility. He held our family together like glue, and his presence is terribly missed. I get angry when I think about losing my dad at 22 years old, but if that meant having him as my daddy, I couldn’t be more thankful that I was loved by such an amazing, loving, brilliant man.

You probably already knew this if you knew my dad, but he LOVED to travel, and made sure we had enriched lives through diverse experiences. We would pack his mini-van full of suitcases and travel the US. He planned the most spectacular trips for our family. Before my 16^th birthday, we had been to Lake Taho, Salt Lake City, San Fransisco, Boston, Gettysburg, Maine, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Niagara Falls, New York City, Wisconsin, Wyoming, Florida, Chicago and Indianapolis countless times, covering most ends of the United States. This summer we took our last family roadtrip. My dad began planning our Rocky Mountain extravaganza over a year in advance. He was so excited for this trip, unlike I had seen before. When he pitched the trip last summer, my immediate thought was “a whole month in the car with my family?!” I even had a conversation with my friend Leslie about how I thought it might be too much concentrated time together.    Our trip this summer was magical.     My dad totally outdid himself this year. We started in Estes Park, then hit the Grand Tetons, up into Glacier National Park, then the big finale in Lake Louise in Banff Canada. I am so, so thankful for those weeks with my dad. At the end of the trip was when he got sick, and never in a million years did I think this is how things were going to end. I will forever hold on to those memories with my daddy, experiencing one last family roadtrip. 

My dad never complained about anything, even in the 9 weeks he was in the hospital. My dad fought so hard and loved us unbelievably well. Even though I ache and ache with the loss of my precious dad, I feel honored to have had a father who cared for me, loved me, fought for me, and fathered me the best he could. My life is forever changed and imprinted by his love. He held a huge piece of my heart, and like Housman says, love is paid for with sighs of plenty, deeper and stronger than any other thing. Daddy, I love you beyond what I will ever be able to express. I miss you so much it seems unbearable. Thank you for loving me and helping make me the woman I am today. Your presence will forever be missed, but the imprint you left on my heart and life will forever linger.